ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
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