Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
