Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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