redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
