pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have fence marks all over my body
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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