After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
