i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
