Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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