so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
