I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
