i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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