just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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