i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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