Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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