No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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