hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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