guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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