I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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