So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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