Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
