I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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