Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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