I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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