Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
