He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
