let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he fucked my hip out of place.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
