$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I currently don't understand fingers.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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