'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
