he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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