I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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