How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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