Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I need water and some morals
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
