His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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