Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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