Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
