It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize