my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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