This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
