I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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