I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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