They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I see more hoeing in ur future
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