Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
