I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
