google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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