And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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