Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
