This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize