JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Panties = found
Randomize
