you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
