HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
