The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
