You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
