This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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