she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
