While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
