:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
