You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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