he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
