Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
