she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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