i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I FOUND THE LEGS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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